Art is a jealous mistress, and, if a man have a genius for painting, poetry, music, architecture, or philosophy, he makes a bad husband, and an ill provider. (Waldo Emerson)

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

This post is full of jibber, drama and self confidence

Well I have not shown you any updates on the new painting because.. Im still working on it. I was working on one area of it and I just seemed to dislike it more and more. My rocks, in my opinion, looked like a large brain! yes. A brain. I hated it. I kept telling myself too - this is not what you are going to paint like. You are better than this. I know that may sound horrible and I sound like I have an ego - but I have to! I have to keep telling myself this because I know what I see in my mind and I know what kind of painter I am and that just isn't what I see and know. And besides I don't want my husband to tell me that I can do better! That would hurt my feelings so I just tell myself for him. He didn't seem to have a problem with it. He is at work today and I am all alone with it. And I am so happy because I have changed a few things and I am back on track! This is why I like to paint. It builds my self esteem.  Its like a rush! I know I could be jumping out of air planes and things but - I don't like that sort of rush. I am sure it would do wonders for my "growing up" experience... but I am not ready for that just yet! When I finish a painting and for me its what I wanted to accomplish and I see that I have gained skills.. I am not kidding - and this sounds dramatic - I cry sometimes. Its a nice feeling to know that I am moving forward every day. Well my next big move is going to be tree tops. UP close! They are at the bottom of the painting and the closest object to the viewer. I can do this.. I can do this. ;) I just keep telling myself - just keep going. You never know how it may turn out. Just keep going. And I Do! This blog post is full of jibber, drama and self confidence. XOXOX.. 

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