Art is a jealous mistress, and, if a man have a genius for painting, poetry, music, architecture, or philosophy, he makes a bad husband, and an ill provider. (Waldo Emerson)

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Christmas Gifts And Dreams

I am taking a break and getting ready to go to bed. I have been working on my mothers Christmas gift tonight. I am putting together a hat and neck warmer for her. I think its going to be pretty cute. However I am lost and I do not know how I want to build the warmer. So I have been just staring at it for a while and I think I figured it out.  Guess we will see. :) I'm tired of working on it for now though.

Because I do not know what to blog about tonight - I will share my weird dream with you.

I dreamt that I was driving along some road that I know I have seen in a lot of my dreams. Me and my children are in the car. I see ahead of me a car getting ready to get into an accident (its as if I could tell the future). I told my daughter to call 911 because this car in front of us was about to wreck.  As I said this the car slammed into the side of a mountain and started to spin out of control. Then for some reason I kept seeing what I can only explain as a replay over and over as the car hits the mountain then spins. I was still driving but I could not see what was in front of me anymore! It was almost like a video game when you are playing those racing games and the car crashes and they show the replay over and over! It started to frustrate me because we were on a mountain road and I could not see. I told my daughter that we were okay because I could still feel us on the road.. then as I said that.. I felt my car go air born and I knew.. we went over the cliff. I still could not see though! Just the other car crashing.. My thinking was this.. "okay. We are off the road and about to die. I was scared but at the same time I was very calm and thought ... okay.. we can do this! Hold on kids"   and then I decided that I did not want this dream anymore.. and it changed. It was so weird.

Since I was a little girl I have had nightmares. I have tried very hard my whole life to understand them so that I can be the boss of that world. When I was a kid I learned to fly. I could fly so high.. Then as I grew up I could not dream like that. I could also fight off the monsters (actually its always demons) with magic. I was like a wizard with magic in my hands. Not anymore! I have had dreams where I look in the mirror and see a whole other person!    So sometimes now I practice flying in my dreams again.  I imagine myself on an ocean cliff... and I slowly start walking off the edge but I do not look down. I do not pay attention to what I am doing .. and just what I am feeling.. I start to walk but then I notice I am doing it and I start to fall. I do not fall fast anymore! I hate that feeling in my stomach.  But I start to fall slow.. and I have to "regroup" and start over.   Its working.. Slowly. I will fly again! And I will fly over the ocean and touch the waves with my finger tips as I go by...

And with that I must go to sleep.. I am going to get up and go to the gym in the morning! I am doing so well. I want really badly though to go and get one of those German Gingerbread cookies before I go to sleep! I can't help it.. they are SO GOOD.

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